My Darkest Days

I sit here in my garden and look back at the last 3 years, as my 16 year old Daughter comes home and tells me she is now ‘non binary’ *last week she was trans and this week she’s doing something just as expressive – and i watch her in her pjama pants and huge baggy top asking me to buy her a ‘minimizer bra’ as she ‘hates her huge boobs’ I smile sipping my White wine thinking just how wonderful this is

 

She’s going on a date – with a girl – and I’m so happy for her, i also know there are many hearbreaks ahead, unlike other mums I relish these because they let us know we’re alive, we feel. and we grow..

 

Tonight I also meet the beautiful son I haven’t seen for over 10 years, before he jets off to New Zealand with his partner possibly I’m aware for the last time – and yes I’m on the white wine it’s bittersweet of course

 

The Darkest Days for me were when I was working on the psychic lines, telling lady number 007 that her man probably wouldn’t leave his wife, and that the taxi driver she fancied probably wasn’t her twinflame, whilst waiting for my then 14 year olds four stone body to fall out of the window above, I had my husband my rock my love, but I was also grasping to stay here the invitiatiion to give up was so real

 

Now – 3 years later, my daughter is a gorgeous round lump of hormones, she’s gay, she’s bi, she’s pan, and how wonderful is all of that, I drink her up …..and I’m Remarrying my Mr Wright who loves his fairy girl * me

 

And i think to myself – what a wonderful world

 

Love Sheelagh