When Love Hurts …..



This is a photo of my beautiful but frail daughter I love her passionately but as you can see she isn’t well – Jessica is a gorgeous 17 year old with a set of unique traits that mean she is both savant like and ahead of her years, but also increasingly not comprehending what she’s doing to herself and the worst part is, I can’t help her any more



As a mum it’s second nature to protect our children, but what can you do when you can’t protect them from themselves even if that might mean they’re not able to stay here in physical form ? This was the nightmare scenario I went through 4 years ago and it seems we are living that dilemma again, I can’t tell you how proud of her I am and yet how scared I am to lose her due to her eating disorder – the irony is she is completely happy with how she is and feels she is all grown up and a healthy weight – it literally causes me so much pain


Why am I sharing this in such a blunt manner ? Because no matter what life looks like on the outside I believe we All have lessons and cycles that hurt, and I know that without the support of my wonderful husband I just wouldnt be able to cope – I have asked my guides ‘why is this the deal ?’ and they said ‘You opted to love her despite what she does to herself you agreed to be the One person who would honour her wishes even possibly at the expense of her life’ and this is true


I remember Sitting in a hosptial bed 3 years ago as they struggled to get a iv line into her tiny arms, she begged me not to allow the doctors to force feed her with a tube, and even though she was at risk of a heartattack at any time I found i could not go against her wishes, luckily she rallied ‘just in time’ and i thought I truly hoped but i secretly knew that we would be here again


When we enter into a soul contract it is ususally to become stronger, and more wise, very often the soulmates whose choices that hurt us the most are the ones that cause us to grow and there is nothing but love at a higher level and my guides told me Jessica chose me because she knew I would honour her choices come what may


Spirit guides cannot make pain go away, they certainly won’t intervene in someones path no matter how much it hurts the people that are around them for they know above all else our soul wishes to grow.  On an earthly level it feels traumatic sad and downright unfair when those with the tenderest frames often suffer the most – and yet I hear again and again from them once they pass that they are so grateful for everything especially the suffering they bore


Is it selfish to want your loved one to change so that it doesnt hurt you so much ? Perhaps, I now have to face the fact my daughters path is likely shorter than it could have been and i have to love her enough to honour whatever her choice brings forth.  I share this because I know many of you are also surrounded by loved ones either with a complex health issue or self destructive behaviours and it can feel like agony watching the decline of that beautiful beloved soul


But what I also know is that every souls path is unique, and the most loving thing we can do for anyone whether it be a child, a spouse or parent is to honour what it is that the soul chooses whilst they are in our lives on earth, but at the same time I want to point out there is no point trying ‘to do more’ than you are supposed to because when you do that, they will often at soul level stop growing and your efforts to save rescue or heal can actually cause them to go backwards when they were just about to grow


For my daughter I hope i have the strength to honour her wishes for as long as I can and i too hope she has the awareness that she is beautiful no matter how she looks. I also hope she is strong enough to live her life fully so that her presence on earth is remembered by many


For you i say this, if you are suffering because a loved one is sick frail or in many ways not thriving please don’t stop taking care of you .  It is okay to find happiness at times, laugh as well as cry and to step back and allow what must be to come forth


You are always supported but not always saved, and it is up to you to remember that your journey is to honour theirs and make the best of your own life too


I am lucky that I am able to help my daughter at times through my gifts – if you need any support please do reach out becuase it is literally impossible to ever be on earth alone


Sending you strength and wishing you love

Sheelagh and your team

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